"Those eyes" part 2

[tommedina79]

I believe I have met the owner of those bluish green eyes. We met on a dating app six months ago, the dream I had was all but forgotten til I saw her picture. I sent her a message "killer eyes". she responded back "These eyes have been on the run for a long time". "Just a long time?" I remarked " I would chase those eyes forever." She replied some time later that day with " Maybe you already have"

We exchanged information and began texting at first, then phone calls. It was when we did our only video chat when everything changed. During the chat she averted her gaze, looked side to side. Then finally she looked at me with those eyes and I felt a rush of emotions. Fear, anger, love, longing, a familiarity I have never experienced before. We locked eyes in silence for a couple seconds, I felt myself starting to become emotional and shut off the camera, I then began to cry softly.

After that meeting I began to change. I would pick fights over petty things. Things that usually didn't bother me hit me in my core. I feel because of that, it's why we never met in person. We continued talking for about 6-7 months in total til she hit me with something so horrible... So damaging, I feel it is going to take a long time to recover from that. She had those same eyes. I wasn't looking for this and a part of me wishes it never happened. I feel lost, empty and responsible for it going bad.

I have no idea why I acted the way I did. I felt like another person, not myself. I am vexed...

 

[Nero19]

The most I can say is that somehow you might've absorbed a part of her actual emotions at that time and started to act like this. Usually this kind of thing happens to me when I am around someone. For some reason I tend to feel or absorb the other person's emotions or negativity at that time leading me to act rashly or out of control or just angry / frustrated.

Either that or you have a higher level of empathy and self awareness that lead you feeling that something went wrong between you two and you know you cannot fix it so it lead to you acting like a different person.

However when you mentioned those bluish green eyes, it reminded me of a dream I had long ago about a drowned blonde man, but he had blue cold eyes instead who was just staring at me, however since it was a long time ago, I can't remember how he was looking at me as in judgemental, empathic etc., but I do remember I screamed loudly in my sleep.

As of recovering, after a traumatizing thing, I've found my inner peace and recovered through writing my thoughts as a novel or fiction, so I'd suggest you to try writing your thoughts or story as you feel it should've been between you two and you might learn something new about yourself.

 

[Harvey]

If I understand the above correctly, it is not a dream and therefore it does not belong here. But I think it is further separate from, and therefore has nothing to do with "Those eyes" other than the similarity with the eyes

 

[SnowOwl]

Speculation in why you picked fights….If you subconsciously intuited that the relationship would inevitably end badly, you might have been trying to flush the ugliness out into the open early, to reduce the long term damage.

I think that the more ‘spiritual’ interpretations are not mutually exclusive with the interpersonal one. If I have a dream like this there are always multiple metaphorically related meanings, some of which don’t become clear until other experiences many years later.