vanessa.johnson
Member
I had this long dream where I went to the workout gym to shed some baby weight and chub and right at the start I remember thinking I AM actually here and not making excuses. I walked around for a while feeling a little lost and then it hit me that I was STUCK for a second just standing there IN my own head watching people move around. Somewhere in the middle of all that I suddenly thought about THE lights and how bright everything felt and then out of nowhere my brain dropped CASINO into the mix which then turned into BATHROOM and I had no idea why.
I paused and thought BUT honestly this isn’t stressing me out and then I told myself I THINK this whole thing is part of showing up. IT'S not perfect but it feels REALLY intentional and that felt GOOD enough to keep going. I moved to another machine AND kept telling myself I don’t have to overthink every weird thought, the gym was CLEAN and quiet. SO I stood there breathing and said I DON'T MIND how scattered this feels right now. I finished the dream feeling calm and weirdly proud, like yeah this was messy but I stayed with it.
I paused and thought BUT honestly this isn’t stressing me out and then I told myself I THINK this whole thing is part of showing up. IT'S not perfect but it feels REALLY intentional and that felt GOOD enough to keep going. I moved to another machine AND kept telling myself I don’t have to overthink every weird thought, the gym was CLEAN and quiet. SO I stood there breathing and said I DON'T MIND how scattered this feels right now. I finished the dream feeling calm and weirdly proud, like yeah this was messy but I stayed with it.
