Full Moon Nightmares

[Will]

There must be some serious upheaval going on in my subconscious - strange cuz I had such a good, forward looking, creative day. New spirit and a kind of maturity. I just woke up from a second slew of these now nightmares.

Earlier I had a dream of the general type I've only had a few of recently - I sometimes call them super nightmares or abstract nightmares or even geometric nightmares. Woke up and wrote some stuff in my dream journal about that - though the specifics were so strange and abstract - the feelings were of opposing some female enemy vastly more powerful than me. Stacked against me dreadfully. Deceits.

Now these recent ones - I'm walking around somewhere, part abstract, parts roads or paths. I have a gas can with only a fairly small amount of gas left. Some guy I don't know is vaguely around. Also others, including my ex girlfriend Julia who recently lived with me in actual waking life and had a schizophrenic episode and is now in the hospital ( doing much better).

The guy isn't really my friend - some vague suspicion and at any rate some kind of competition. I come walking down the path with.gas can. I say, more or less: "Is it the gas they need? I don't have that much but I have some.." No reply from anyone. I'm actually sort of glad they are off on their own struggles (for fuel or whatever) and may leave me alone.

I come around, encounter Julia (she's 28 by the way, dark hair, petite and extremely cute) and she says to me: "You're not Jake! (Or some guys name, not mine)" I respond with laughing attempt at good naturedness even though in the dream I basically am Jake or whoever she's referring to. Or comparing me with?

I walk away, looking behind me warily lest she hit or kick me (as she actually would sometimes do when she was schizophrenic). Its become my house then and I'm walking into the kitchen toward the fridge.

I wake up soon after that. I'm wondering if there will be more when I go back to sleep or if this will be enough to break, to change the psychical process?

 

[PaulKH]

Just my personal experience, but I have found opening to the messages from a conflict resolution mindset tends to give me action points and also resolve the need for this kind of dream. I *see* the interconnections of the problems and their solutions and consciously act toward their resolution, even if it's as subtle as making up my mind about something, And then those types of dreams always stop for me; message delivered, job done (that's what it feels like).

I would consider whether or not you underestimate the disruptive trauma of your having lived with and experienced Julia's more manic times. Those disrupt your own processes just like a stink that loads in through your nose and then you cannot get that out of your mind-memory; these take time and more than a hit of air freshener, if you know what I mean. You are your own person, and yet at the same time, you are an interconnected mess of your experiences, and Julia prominently fits into that. This message could be simply what the nightmare was trying to force a realization of (because as you probably know, no conscious choice comes from unconscious understanding -- it must become conscious before the processing/healing can begin). At the least, something to consider/revisit.

Note, I find it significant that she, the afflicted one, claimed you were a guy by another name/persona that you didn't know and yet dream-felt that you *were* that guy she was calling for. There is a hint of the "multiple" in that sequence; it's meaningful that you didn't "correct" her. So let even your most subtle feelings of that guide your meaning, and feel free-safe to discuss it further.

 

[Will]

Hey Paul yeah I think you're more or less right. I'm definitely 'bouncing back' from Julia being here and dealing with her in her psychotic state. Her departure and hospitalization is recent - right after Christmas - and so it's definitely part of the material getting worked through.

She was actually calling me Jeff right before I took her to the hospital. I have no idea why or who that refers to. So yeah a multiplicity or confusion of identities is somehow relevant there so good call on that. Her dream statement had a sense of that same sort of confusion.

 

[PaulKH]

Yeah, so with love (maybe?) added into the mix -- especially if she was the one you shared music with -- it's far harder to work through that aftermath than people might assume. I wish you all the best in learning the right lessons and plotting your path forward, and perhaps the dreaming can help with that.